Sideswipe's Trip
by Starbee
Summary: Sideswipe discovers that he doesn't like the sand, and that sand doesn't like him. Movieverse.


Saw the movie when it released, iffy about Wheelie, I want my old Wheelie back. Anywho, I loved Sideswipe even though he had like… Two lines and then somehow freaking he appeared EVERWHERE.

Anyway, I thought it was silly he had roller feet in the desert! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers.

--

Sideswipe discovered that being in the desert was definitely not his forte. As his tires once again ground themselves in the sandy powder he let out a string of swearwords in cybertronian, revving his engine with frustration until he managed to get himself out of the hole he had dug himself into.

Ironhide snorted and passed the sports car, and Sideswipe could just feel the satisfaction of him out of his element coming off the Weapons Specialist in waves. With an impatient rev of his engine Sideswipe surged past, ignoring a human vehicle's warning honk and darting forward, only to brake suddenly as Optimus Prime's massive vehicle form cut him off, the Autobot leader letting out a warning honk.

Lennox snickered from Optimus' cab, settling back comfortably against the seats and turning the air filter so the cold air Optimus was kind enough to provide blew against his face. "I apologize for Sideswipe's behaviour, he is not yet used to human customs." Optimus' deep voice blared over the speakers, toned down so as not to harm Lennox's ears.

The major shook his head and patted the dash board in front of him. "It's fine. I'm sure Epps is encouraging him one way or another." As if to prove Lennox's point, Sideswipe once again raced past, his windows down and loud music blared from the speakers. Inside Lennox could make out the form of Epps, his hand out the open window and laughing hysterically.

Lennox nodded slowly and pointed at the scene. "See what I mean?" He smirked at Optimus' resigned sigh and once again settled into his seat, closing his eyes in an attempt to catch a few moments sleep while they waited to get to the area where they would set up their camp.

--

"Major Lennox, we have arrived." Optimus' voice sounded softly throughout the cab. Lennox pried his tired eyes open and yawned, scrubbing his eyes and gazed blearily outside the cab window.

"Oh good, sand. And if you look over that sandy hill over there, more sand!" Lennox grumbled to himself and opened the truck cab door, slipping out onto the sandy ground and taking a moment to stretch his stiff form. Behind him Optimus backed up and began to transform, the other Autobots following suit until four hulking robots stood over the group of humans, who began to unpack their vehicles and unfolding tents.

Epps walked over to Lennox, a broad grin on his face as he gestured behind him to the form of Sideswipe, who was standing gingerly on the desert sand and looking about almost nervously. "Dude, you have to ride in him sometime! It's fricking _awesome._"

Lennox clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder, shaking his head as a small smile formed on his face. "I'll take your word for it, dude."

A loud electronic squeal erupted in the air and Optimus, Ratchet, and Ironhide each turned in surprise. Humans scrambled for their weapons as the screaming abruptly stopped and Optimus walked forward, his weapon held before him as he viewed the scene before him.

Sideswipe lay head face first on the ground and his arms splayed out beside him, the blades detached from his arms and buried in the sand beside the Autobot. Ironhide took a few steps forward, his arm cannons out as he scanned the area around him. "What is it Sideswipe? Is it Scorponok?" He asked, taking care not to squish humans as he manoeuvred around to help the fallen Autobot.

Sideswipe accepted Ironhide's hand, and as he put one wheeled foot forward it slid further, causing him to make a rather uncomfortable looking split position.

Ironhide dropped Sideswipe's hand, immediately melting his weapons back into his form and turned away, shaking with laughter. Humans holstered their weapons, each shaking their head from side to side and some laughing as they returned to their work.

"Sideswipe? What is the matter?" Ratchet asked, his optics furrowed as he watched the warrior stand up, his feet digging themselves into a hole.

"It's this slagging sand." Sideswipe ground out, glaring down at the golden sand and once again tried to move, only to find that the sand had caved in on his feet and caused them to stick. Waving his arms frantically he fell forward, his face once again in the dirt. Blowing air through his vents he turned his head up and glowered around him. "Remember Cybertron and how it had roads? Because I miss that."

Ratchet snorted and followed Ironhide away, Optimus following soon after. Sideswipe crawled about, taking care not to knock into any humans, but also ensuring that he threw sand in the air, the sand hitting some human passersby who glared at the silver corvette.

As Sideswipe turned himself into a sitting position he gazed around him, his optics falling on one human female standing in front of him, her hands thrust into her uniform pocket and a cigarette dangling from her lips. "What do you want?"

The human shrugged, raising a hand to take the cigarette out of her mouth and blew the smoke into the air. "Nothin'."

Sideswipe nodded slowly, drawing his knees to his chest and resting his arms, his hands clasped together as he examined the human as she took another puff of a cigarette. "I heard those were harmful for humans." He pointed at the cigarette in her hands.

Taking another pull of the cigarette she shrugged, blowing the smoke into the air and watching as it dispersed. "Yeah, and robots from another planet are landin' on Earth. Hell, some o' them like to use us as target practice. I think I got some right to smoke 'ere."

Sideswipe's optics furrowed as she threw the cigarette butt to the ground, rubbing it with her boot before picking up the butt and depositing it in a tin. "Why do you do that?"

"No use in pollutin'. Besides, I hate when others leave their damn cigarette butts out all o'er the place." She shrugged and shook out another cigarette, lighting it and taking a deep pull before sitting down in the sand and squinting up at the robot. "Got any other question or can I smoke in peace?"

Sideswipe sat back, no longer feeling the urge to deal with the human, instead contenting himself with watching the others work. He spotted Ironhide arguing with some diminutive human and smirked, knowing full well that arguing with Ironhide was like arguing with a wall.

It was then he saw his two blades, still half-buried in the sand where he had left them when he fell. Letting out a small string of curses he drew his legs out, working to find some hold in the sand before standing. The human he had been talking to looked up, a small smile on her face as she watched the Autobot struggle. "Havin' fun there?"

She was rewarded with an angry glare from the Autobot, and she snorted into her hand as he stood, took a step, and began to flail his arms as he found himself unable to find balance in the slipping, loose sands. He turned his head to her, optics narrowing in fury as he rested a hand on the ground. "I do believe I may hate you." He ground out, and with that began to crawl to his blades.

From across the camp Ironhide broke off his argument with the human and flickered his optics in shock at the sight of Sideswipe _crawling. _Nudging Ratchet, who had come to stand beside him at some point during the argument he pointed the medic in the direction of Sideswipe's form.

Ratchet shook his head and heaved a deep sigh through his vents. "I do not want to know. I really don't." And with that walked away, gently tugging Ironhide's arm to pull the giant Mech away from the human before he could remember what they were arguing about.

Optimus too, decided he would rather not know the reasoning for his soldier crawling around like a human infant. Instead he turned his attention to Lennox, who was watching Sideswipe, his mouth slack. Raising a hand he pointed to Sideswipe, looking back up at Optimus. "Does he usually do things like this?"

Optimus paused for a moment, tilting his head as he thought back. "Mostly with his twin." He decided after a moment, then gently lifted his hand to scoop up the human Major. Lennox, entirely used to this sort of action turned around and grasped onto one of the Prime's fingers for balance.

"He has a twin?"

Optimus nodded, then seeing the approach of Ratchet and Ironhide quickly put an end to the conversation. "He does, but he is on another planet." Placing the human back on the ground, closer to the supplies Optimus lowered his voice. "I would appreciate if you did not mention him to either Sideswipe or Ratchet. Sideswipe is still sore from being separated and Ratchet… Ratchet has had less than pleasant experiences."

Lennox nodded, and as he turned back to Sideswipe's form, now reattaching his blades and looking both pleased and annoyed with himself. "Less than pleasant experiences..?" The major echoed, then hastily looked down at a plan when he noted Ratchet's much closer proximity.

Sideswipe let out a small 'whuff' of satisfaction, retracting his blades as he shifted to get into a more comfortable position. At Optimus' beckoning, however, he let out an irritable sigh and began to look around for a way to effectively crawl to the group without too many people seeing.

Unfortunately, that just wasn't the case. And at Prime's increasingly annoyed beckoning, the soldier decided the easiest and possibly most humiliating way to get there was to crawl straight through the camp.

It wasn't until he was halfway across the camp, half-tangled in leftover rope from Primus knows what and sand in his parts did he hear the human female he had spoken to earlier, just behind him and to the left.

"Why don't you just transform?"

He hung his head with exasperation at the sound of her smug voice and didn't reply, instead transforming and kicking up a multitude of sand as he sped off to the group of robots and humans.

--

I really do wish they had Sunstreaker in the movie. I'd have preferred it over more than half the new robots they stuck in that movie. Oh well, I guess I'll just keep being bitter about it.


End file.
